A shy girly’s advice for making friends in 2025
I’ve always valued close friendships and found joy in the presence of others: however, I also suffer from the ability to completely drown myself in anxiety whenever I meet new people. I overanalyze everything I could possibly do wrong. Letting the fear isolate me. Although it feels lonely, I can see online that this is not a struggle only I face.
For context—I moved and I had to make a choice to either meet new people or to carry on bed rotting and begging my boyfriend to watch reality tv with me. I can’t lie and say I’m now bursting at the seams with new friends BUT I can say I’ve met some amazing people. I want to take a moment to share my tips for making connections. Especially since I am not the woman who walks into a room and instantly makes 20 new besties.
OKAY HERE WE GO.
Get out and try a class or club!
Photograph by Shane O’Leary Images.
I know—it’s the over-used, easier-said-than-done advice but it’s true. You do need to be mindful of what you pursue though.
If you hate art, maybe don’t try to make friends at an art club. If you don’t like waking up early then early morning run club might not be the move.
My friend—who I already knew in the area—invited me to dance class. I was immediately like “oh my god no” since I have almost no dance experience…and I was already in my pyjamas crying. However, I always wanted to learn how to dance so it didn’t take too long for her to convince me. Although it was anxiety inducing—it was perhaps the best choice I made since moving down island.
I couldn’t keep up AT ALL and felt ridiculous, but Dez at Collective Heeling had such a sparkling energy to her that spread throughout the room. I looked at all the effortless dancers and NONE of them made me feel I didn’t belong. I didn’t believe I’d get any better but I knew I wanted to be back to soak in that energy even if I felt like Bambi learning to walk. Before I knew it I made a friend and we both signed up to perform in the dance showcase. I also found that even just being around good people made me feel more connected and less lonely—even if we weren’t close. Simply just laughing, dancing, and uplifting each other. Overtime some of these dancers have started to become friends though.
To finish off this point: go out and find a third space that resonates with you and then things will fall in place by being in a room that aligns with your beliefs, passions, and—honestly— your vibes.
Don’t lose touch with older friendships.
For example, my best friend from high school is who took me to dance class for the first time. The friends we have are in our lives for a reason. I would hope you want them in your life!! Plus they also can connect you to community, their other friends, and remind you that it’s fun to leave the house. Now my best friend and I have remained close throughout the years, but I do think there is power in rekindling old connections.
At my birthday party, I had someone from high school that I hadn’t gotten to spend too much time with post-graduation. Whenever I see her, I have a greatest time talking with her, and she lives so close. There was no excuse to not invite her! I’m so glad she made it because she is such a sweet person and brought so much good energy to the party. What I’m trying to say is don’t be too afraid to message someone you haven’t spoken to in a while. It can be totally worth it.
I should also point out that friends from your old town or that moved away from you are not to be tossed away. I’d like the believe the friendship existed for more than convenience. Catch up on the phone, go for a visit, invite them over for a night, or just spam them with memes. I totally understand when people fall out of touch. Adult life is busy and the world is heavy, but it is rewarding to maintain friendships even if you aren’t able to check in daily.
Be a fan girl!
Honestly, this was hard for me to do since I’m shy, but I started trying to embrace the awkwardness. Basically, if I see something good in someone, I try to compliment it. I follow people on Instagram if I think they seem cool.
I don’t do it all with some grand scheme of forcing friendships on these people, but I just genuinely try to support others, and occasionally that goes a long way. I try to always speak with sincerity. Compliments mean more when they are real—plus that way I’m not committed an ingenious attitude every time I speak to them. That’s Awkward...
The worst case scenario of genuinely supporting and complimenting others is that… nothing happens! What is someone going to do? Get mad at you for complimenting them? I would definitely assume they have other things going on in their life if that’s how they respond. It’s not personal. I’ve gotten to know plenty of people through responding to their Instagram stories and complimenting their outfits. Again, my only advice is to be authentic and don’t have any expectations! It’s just spreading some positivity and occasionally you might make a cool new friend out of it.
It’s hard to break out of your comfort zone—or your hermit zone, but being truly seen by others can have such a powerful impact on your life. It also has an impact on others to have you in their lives. I encourage anyone to take baby steps like joining a class, sending a meme to an old friend, or by following somebody new on Instagram because you never know how that will change your sense of community a year from now.
Baby steps little Bambis.
Bambi Creative by Nikki 